Did you ever try to do nothing for a minute, an hour or even a day?
And with nothing I really mean nothing! Not even meditating, reading, analyzing or watching something. Also doing it while you are on the subway or walking in the city doesn't count because you are actually doing something (you are getting from one place to the other). I mean just sitting, lying or standing somewhere and observing what's happening. Observing your impulses but not following them.
When I do that I sometimes really have to laugh about myself. I sit and after only a couple of minutes, I start getting ants in my pants. I feel like I wanna eat something or watch Netflix or clean up just this one paper that is disturbingly lying on the floor. Just in order to not stay in this uncomfortable feeling of being totally passive and inactive.
By doing this you can start understanding your patterns of addiction. Because all our addictions are basically just to numb our feelings or make us feel better.
So being passive or inactive can be uncomfortable in the beginning – and your body presents you your favorite avoiding strategies.
But what is even more interesting: after your body went through the first resistance and the first „evergreen“ strategies, it gives up and relaxes. And then, out of this relaxation there will, at some point, come another impulse. But it feels different than the first ones. It feels much calmer, more peaceful and clear. This is the kind of impulse I want to follow.
So out of the impatience of waiting for a „true“ impulse I sometimes follow the impulses that come up first and that numb my impatience and resistance against passivity and inactivity. Then I do things I don't really want to do, just because I don't know yet, what else to do. Instead of just tolerating and staying in this uncomfortable feeling until it passes and I get more clarity again.
Try it out! It's really fascinating.
I'm curious about your experiences with this!